The Battle is not yours.

I got to bed late last night and got up late this morning, I had a weird dream, about this guy I had a crush on, who was really Chris Brown in my dream but I was happy and giddy, that's all I remember. When I got up I was late but happy and compelled to write in my prayer journal for the first time in little over a month. I took that extra 20 minutes to pour out my thoughts, hopes and wishes and was on my way.

By midday, the first set of bad news struck, my grand opportunity that I raved about in the last post, that I was so excited about, the one thing I was just about to cross off my bucket list, has evaporated. With nary a warning, it's over just like that. I'm at a standstill. Peeved at myself for quitting my comfortable job with benefits, in the middle of a recession to take hold of my dream, only to have that put on pause. You cannot imagine how that feels. I'm completely thrown for a loop, my plans to move, everything is at a standstill. I was angry and a little upset, but I am not panicked, I have not felt the icy fingers of dread steal across my heart as normally happpens. I got the bare minimum of work completed today and existed on autopilot for the rest of the day. I came home tonight and sat on my bed tonight wondering what am I going to do? How am I going to figure this out? Who do I need to call to set things in motion again? How am I going to pay my bills after my 3 months of savings have run out? I. I. I.

Gently, almost fleetingly I heard that still small voice in my head saying ".The battle is not yours but God's " . (Second Chronicles 20;15)

Immediately I was comforted, I do not know what God has planned for my life, but I really need to start trusting, he has never steered me wrong yet.

The second set of bad news was my orthodontist's office calling to let me know that I was 3 months in arears because they had not received my payments although I see the money coming off my account. I really hope that's a glitch at the bank, I would hate to think that I owe the Orthodontist 3 months of payments, especially since that's the exact amount of money I have set aside to pay them for the next 3 months.